A New Start

It's hard to believe that my last blog entry was written over half a year ago. Looking back, so much has happened during this time. Yes I've been busy but one can only come up with so many excuses. During this time, one of the toughest decisions I made was to take a year off from school to sort through things in life. That's to put things simply, of course. The real reason is a lot more complicated and is something I am still trying to figure out. I guess that's how life is. I used to think that life is a long journey filled with one milestone after another. Now, I see life in more cyclical terms. What I mean is, I think no matter where we go, what we become and achieve, we cannot escape from who we truly are. The little girl who grew up in the countryside, chasing butterflies, that was me and still is. This carefree child has been hiding inside of me all these years, holding her breathe waiting for the right moment to come running out of hiding. In the midst of this aseptic existence that has become my world, I could still hear deep inside the whispers of summer breeze and promises of monsoon rain to come. I am afraid, still am, of being free and vulnerable. I have not yet found a compromise. I lost my balance and fell, only to realize that I could not have fallen since I never did walk. Now this! What an expanse of emptiness and potential. I feel the trembling exhilaration of a caged bird set free. To what height could I soar and to what depth could I fall? I want to know. For to live and have not lived, that is the real tragedy of the modern life. I traded in my shining new sports car for an old model-T. This is my personal odyssey in search of the familiar sounds and faces of a disappearing world.